The Forgotten Casserole
I went to a college football tailgate last weekend and saw some dear friends from my sorority days that I don’t get to see very often. We laughed about all kinds of things and told stories about crazy stuff we did during and shortly after college.
I had one group of friends, that formed a cooking club. There were just 5 members and that’s all it was ever meant to be. Just good friends, cooking together and staying in touch. They took turns planning and making a meal together and I’m sure, discussing some of Life’s greatest moments along the way.
I wasn’t invited to join this group, which I sort of lamented about, but deep down I didn’t have that real passion for cooking…they had the flame, I only had a little flicker…nonetheless, I thought it was a very special thing that they were doing and are still, doing 40 years later.
These gals, and a few others whom I met along the way, became excellent cooks. They were smart and decisive and knew how to put on a great dinner party.
I was always very intimidated by these friends that could cook anything asked of them…look out Julia Childs…these gals would put you to shame! I would try and try to make a great meal and have friends over, but it was work to me and I always beat myself up over some dish that didn’t come out quite right or my timing was bad or some crazy thing would happen in my oven…I think I sort of came to the conclusion that I would just cook for my family but stay out of the way when it comes to cooking for others.
One time while at a friend’s dinner party, I decided that at least if I didn’t cook, I could help with the clean-up. Boy was that a bad idea! The hostess quickly pushed me out of the kitchen, saying she only washes a certain way and that I should just go sit down. That didn’t make me feel too good either – now I’m not even allowed to clean?
I stopped going to dinner parties and consequently stopped being invited. Which spiraled me into a mediocre cook who never reciprocated her dinner invitations. I think the bar was raised so high in my little social circle that I couldn’t (and honestly didn’t want to) keep up.
At the tailgate party, one of my friends told a story about a time when she was in charge of bringing lunch to a large group meeting, but she had forgotten all about it until the night before at 8:00pm! She raced around, bought food at the grocery store and was up chopping and making sauces and grating cheeses until 3:00 am! When it was finally time to go to the meeting, the casseroles were cold. She still had to warm them up. The meeting was being held at a neighbor’s house, so no, this was not a commercial kitchen with 3 large industrial ovens, like there would have been at a larger facility. She tried to fit 6 casserole pans into one little oven at once, but that didn’t go too well. In the end, she had to serve lukewarm casserole to some snobby friends, and everyone knew she had forgotten about her duty for the day. That experience led her to quit the lunch group and happily move on.
I’m sure that was a pretty lousy experience for my friend at the time, but she was laughing when she told it and it made for a great story!
It made me feel so much better too – here was this person that I thought could do no wrong in the world of cooking – totally screwing up. I think I’ve been afraid of messing up and never recovering from it. But that’s the thing. It’s never that bad, and if your friends shun you when you didn’t perform at your best…then they’re probably not good friends anyway.
Lesson learned here is – Try to keep your calendar up to date and…go ahead and cook for people, don’t be afraid of mistakes or cold casseroles! The people that are worth it will still be your friends no matter what you serve!! Itsnotrouble!