Strange Times

My cat must be wondering why we’re suddenly all home…all the time. No more weekends with the family away, no more long days spent outside, waiting, casually napping and wondering where we’ve gone. We’re just here, day in and day out, all day and all night.

These are strange times for sure. Shelter in Place orders are in effect; we can go out to get essential supplies like groceries, medicine or to care for others…maybe get a walk in for exercise – but at 6 feet away from others. We’re all on high alert, watching more news than we probably should, spending more time on social media than we probably should and feeling like we’re missing something –  are we?

I work from home anyway, so this shouldn’t feel strange except that now I’m working at home with 3 other family members – all doing the same thing. There’s a zoom call upstairs and a very loud phone call in the dining room. My son’s trying to take a midterm for his last semester in college…will there be a commencement ceremony? Still waiting on that outcome. My own job in possible jeopardy…after all, who wants to invest in much of anything right now? Pretty much putting out fires for the time being.

I am torn, most of me loves having everyone here…captive for the moment. My little family unit huddling together as it should in troubled times. My eldest son nearby, but in his own apartment…it helps me to know he’s nearby. I could walk there or he could walk here if need be. Having to stay away from my 94 year old mother is painful, but I am thankful she is in her own home with 2 wonderful caregivers looking after her.

I’m a homebody by nature. I love time to myself. I love to be at home …but there’s also a point of no return…If I get too comfortable, I get to a place where I can’t even leave. I don’t want to go out or see anyone – I just want to stay holed up in my little cocoon. But that’s not good for anyone, and eventually, I will want to venture out - It’s all a cycle. Spring is the worst time of year for me. I’m never quite sure when it’s time to venture out…Can I leave the safety of my home?  I’m ready to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin again but am not sure I can trust this season. It’s a very different year and I’m determined not to fall into my same old routine, actions set on auto, not thinking, just doing. Too bad it takes a shelter in place order to get me to reflect and make changes!